Sunday, December 15, 2013

A LOVE STORY: A NAIVE AND SENTIMENTAL TRIFLE


A LOVE STORY:  A NAÏVE AND SENTIMENTAL TRIFLE

“Eddie, there are many reasons I shouldn’t marry you and only one or two reasons I should.  You are handsome, dapper, a man-about-town, a lover of parties and late nights, worldly … I could go on.  I, on the other hand am plain, shy, not very social, a homebody …. again, I could go on.”
“I know all that Linda, except that I’m not sure I agree with your assessment of either of us completely. But more to the point, what do you think are the one or two reasons we should get married?”

“I love you and you love me.   That’s one.  We really enjoy each other’s company.  That’s two.”
“You know Linda, my parents are very attractive, sophisticated, party-goers, ambitious, social butterflies, … I could go on.  But they lack the two elements you say we have.  They don’t love each other and they really don’t much care to be with each other.  Their marriage is rooted in business, not love or affection.  Since I’ve been seeing you, I have felt for the first time as if  I’m in a real relationship.”

“I know how you feel now, Eddie, and I truly believe you.  What I’m worried about is that down the road, if we got married, you’d begin to feel the strain of being married to someone who couldn’t help you on your climb to the top.  Knowing how much I hate parties and most social events and how much you love them, you’d go by yourself.  You take the kidding from others about being the most single married man they know.  You wouldn’t want this to happen, but you’d start noticing the women who would take an interest in you.  You’d dismiss most of them, but there would bound to be some whom you genuinely liked and were attracted to.  You’d resist for a while, perhaps a long while, but then you’d relent.  And I wouldn’t blame you one bit.  But the marriage, the kind of marriage we both wanted, would be over.”
“Linda, first of all, I am ambitious.  I do want to move up in the business world.  I don’t love the social scene that goes along with it, but it’s part of the whole package.  What you need to understand is that, when I come to see you, it’s as though I can let go of the phoniness that surrounds me at work and I can be myself.  I could never get very far without that.  I’d become angry and bitter because I’d be trapped in the world I grew up in.”

“I know you feel that way, and I’m so glad you do.  Why don’t we just enjoy being boyfriend and girlfriend for at least a few months.  Let’s put the marriage talk on hold.”
“I’m willing to do that, only because I do love you and want you to be happy.”

And so, Eddie and Linda continued to date.   Eddie couldn’t wait to come over to Linda’s house.  Her parents were both teachers.  Their house was very modest, especially by the standards of his own house.  But, when he crossed the threshold of that house, he felt the weight of the world fall off his shoulders.  Linda’s father and mother were also more likeable and approachable than his parents ever could be.  But it was mainly Linda who made him feel so relaxed and completely himself.
A few months passed.  Once again, Eddie broached the subject of marriage to Linda.

“Linda, we’ve continued to see each other and, at least on my part, I’m more in love with you now than I’ve ever been.  I really can’t imagine life without you.  Please marry me.”
“Eddie, I won’t go over the list again.  We know what the issues are.  I do love you and know that even in the greatest relationships there are bound to be difficulties from time to time.  I just don’t want to feel like I’m a burden to you.”

“That will never happen.  All the burdens I feel  or will ever feel are outside our relationship.”
“You need to be very traditional and ask my father for permission to marry me.  Will you do that?”

“In a heartbeat.”
“I tell you what.  Thanksgiving is in two weeks.  We always have a small Thanksgiving dinner.  My parents and I are usually joined by one of my uncles and his wife and one of my cousins.  Could you possibly come to dinner?  After dinner, or perhaps before dinner – no, after would be better – you could speak to my father.”

“That sounds wonderful.  We used to have a big Thanksgiving dinner with relatives from all over.  Then it gradually became more of a business associates event.  It hardly seemed like a family event at all.  Now, it’s just another day pretty much.  My parents will probably even go up to the ski lodge.  They don’t ski, but that’s where the business contacts all congregate.”
Thanksgiving dinner at the Miller’s was everything Eddie imagined it could be.  Linda’s relatives were just as down-to-earth and warm as her parents.  After dinner, Linda, her mom, and the relatives all went in to share stories.  Eddie asked Linda’s father if he might meet with him.  They went into the study, which looked just like Eddie thought a study should like.  It was brimming with books and was cluttered.  Mr. Miller even had to take some books off a chair for Eddie to sit down.

“Mr. Miller, you probably know why I wanted to talk to you.  But first, I just wanted to say how much I really appreciate the warmth and love you and Mrs. Miller have extended to me since I began dating Linda.”
“Well Eddie, you’re a fine young man.”

“Mr. Miller, Linda and I have been considering this for a long time.  We’ve been dating for two years you know.   I asked her to marry me three months ago but she put me off.  I asked her again two weeks ago and she said that I needed to speak to you first.”
“That’s so like Linda, isn’t it?  Eddie, I can’t imagine a more wonderful son-in-law than you.  I can also imagine the things Linda has said to dissuade you.”

“She has her list of reasons.”
“Linda and her lists!  I’m not going to state the obvious.  You both know the differences between you two.  I imagine Linda is worried that, at some point, you will find her less appealing.  You’re an honorable person and would never do anything to disrespect her, but she would know.  My thinking is that marriage is always  risky.  I’ve known people who seemed perfectly compatible go their separate ways and others who seemed to be quite unsuited for each other make a real go of it.  You do know that Linda can’t have children.”

“I’m aware of that, sir.”
“What’s so heartbreaking about that fact is that she loves children so.  She’d like ten of ‘em if she could.”

“Sir, I know I can and will make Linda wonderful husband.  I don’t know how great a father I’d be anyway.”
“Eddie, you and Linda are both fine people.  I’ve noticed how you get along so well.  You’re an ambitious young man, but you also possess a great deal of patience.  I see your face light up when you come to the house.   The choice to marry you is Linda’s, but you both have my blessing. Just remember that marrying the person you love is the easy part.  Loving the person you marry is the hard part, and the only part that really matters.”

“I know that, and you have no worries.  I really appreciate your blessing, sir.  Linda’s the girl for me.”
Eddie immediately excused himself to go see Linda.

“Linda, we have you father’s blessing.”
“That’s great to hear.  Now, what about your parents?  They don’t like me, you know.  I’ve only been around the, a couple of times, but I got the message loud and clear.”

“They don’t like you because they know we’ll have a relationship they can never have.  I love them, but I don’t expect them to approve of our marriage.  That really doesn’t bother me.  I would actually be more troubled if they did.”
“I really think we can make this work.”

The couple went back into the house and Linda’s father made the announcement to the relatives.  It was a grand conclusion to a grand day.
Eddie then went home to an empty house.  He told some of the staff his news and they were delighted.  When his parents returned from their ski trip, he told them.  They weren’t delighted.  Eddie knew that from then on, even  the shallow relationship he had maintained with his parents would be diminished.

Linda and Eddie were married by a justice of the peace and then participated in a small, religious wedding service at a chapel where Linda and her parents were members.  His parents did not attend. They gave Linda and Eddie no wedding present.
During their first years of marriage, their lives followed the path Linda had predicted.  Eddie rose in the business world and managed to make the social scene enough to keep his name afloat.  He often brought one of his cousins along as an escort.  Linda would come to a few events, mainly dinner events where she didn’t have to socialize much.  What Linda didn’t understand was how Eddie felt each day he returned home.  He couldn’t wait to get home.  They’d typically have a light supper and then go curl up with each other and read to each other or watch a movie.  Sometimes, they’d go out to a movie, play, or concert.

Linda’s interest in plants prompted her to become active in the local botanical society.  She also became a favorite story teller at the library and hospital.  She had a full, rich life. 
Twice a year, they’d take a trip.  It was usually to a nature preserve.  Linda didn’t care for big cities and tourist destinations.  Eddie saw enough of them on business trips.  He lover their trips as much as Linda did.

Linda was also right about the fact that women would constantly make a play for Eddie.  When his cousin married, she no longer accompanied him to social events.  Women saw this as a sign that they could move in.  Eddie found most to be repulsively mercenary.  But, just as Linda predicted, there were a few whom Eddie found most attractive and likable.  However, he always managed to rebuff their advances most graciously.  He even took taunts that he was gay with no malice.  Taunts concerning Linda hurt more deeply, but he would always take a look at the person making the taunts and realize how lucky he was.
A major promotion at the company where Eddie had worked for fifteen years coincided with his and Linda’s twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

“Linda, what do you want to do for our anniversary?”
“I was sort of hoping we might go back to the place where we spent our honeymoon.”

“My thoughts exactly, which is why I’ve set everything up. There is, however, something we need to do.”
“And what might that be?”

“You know I’ve been promoted.  Well, the company CEO, Cary Basil, and his wife, want to have us over for dinner to celebrate. He doesn’t really care about my promotion, but he knows it’s the thing that’s expected of him.   Then, there’s going to be this big reception for me a week later.  Our actually anniversary falls right in between these two events, so we’ll have to delay our second honeymoon about two weeks.   I know how excruciatingly painful both of these events will be for you, but if you could manage to put on a good show, I’d be most grateful.”
“Well, you know for a fact, that I won’t put on a show for anyone.  Of course, I’ll be gracious and as charming as I can manage to be.  You’ve really been good all these years about not expecting me to go to many events.  It will be fine.”

The dinner at the Basil’s went as Eddie and Linda expected it to.  No one at the company really had kind words for Cary Basil.  He had been brought in as a hatchet man and was very successful in his mission. Scratch his thin veneer of gentility and one would find a viper.  His wife, made from the same mold, continuously threw barbs at Linda throughout the evening, but Linda managed to throw them off with poise.  After a superficially amiable evening, Eddie and Linda said good night to their hosts and immediately went to a little diner they like for a burger and a shake.
Eddie and Linda had a wonderful time on their second honeymoon.  The following three years were upset only by the death of Linda’s father.  Eddie’s father had died over ten years before but that event was a mere blip in their lives.  Linda’s father would be truly missed.  Her mother went to live in a retirement center nearby.   Linda received much recognition for her work on behalf of the botanical garden and her work with children.  Two banquets were held in her honor.  Eddie became quite amused at the fact that one of the banquets was held in the very same place as a banquet he had been to the previous week.  The setup of the room was the same.  The food was the same.  But the atmosphere of the two banquets could not have been more different.  While he still loved social events, the banquets honoring Linda were definitely more enjoyable and memorable.

Linda began having headaches.  At first, she shrugged them off.  But then, they started to be so severe that she went to the doctor.  He had some tests run.  A malignant tumor was found in her brain.  Further tests revealed that the cancer cells had metastasized into other portions of her body.  Except for the headaches, however, she felt fine.  The tumor was removed and she began cancer treatment.  Eddie decided it was time for him to retire to be with Linda.  They travelled as much as they could.  However, Linda reached a point where she couldn’t tolerate the trips and became home bound.
Despite her illness, the same feeling of joy and anticipation that came over Eddie as he approached their house continued in him.  Of course, he agonized over her gradual decline.  Their favorite pastimes remained curling up together and reading to each other and watching movies.  They still went out when she was up to it.  One night, they said goodnight to each other and Linda never awoke.

Eddie took Linda’s death hard.  But then, as he was looking through her things, he discovered several scrapbooks she’d compiled over the years.  Some of them were comical and featured clippings of all of his business activities and all the social events he has attended.  Some were filled with copies of their favorite poems and readings from books.  One special book was a series of “letters” Linda wrote to Eddie and to others over the years.  They were attended for Eddie’s eyes only.   There was enough material to see him through his grief.  He never tired of revisiting them, especially the letters.
One letter was especially poignant.  It was dated two weeks before her death:

My dear Eddie,
I want  to thank you for all you have done for me, not just in the last few years, but for our entire lives together.  I’ll be going soon, I know.  It’s funny.  I’ve never told you this before, but the first time I laid eyes on you, I said to myself, there’s the man of my dreams!  But he’s so worldly and handsome, he won’t give me a second look.  Even though I kept putting off any commitment  we might make to each other-- the hardest thing I have ever done, by the way—I could see in your eyes how much delight I gave you just by being who I was.  You not only gave me a second look, you never took your eyes off me for over thirty years. 

Eddie, I hope you will find someone else to love after I’m gone.  It won’t  be the same.  I know, however, that over the years there were most likely some women that you found appealing.  Knowing you, you won’t settle for anything other than the one that makes your heart sing.  You probably won’t spend your time together reading poetry to each other and enacting sections of novels and plays.  There will be something else that will be your harbor of love.  Embrace it.  We had our time together, and it cannot be duplicated. 
Finally, my dear.  Forgive your parents.  They weren’t perfect and didn’t have lives that were especially happy.  They made you.  And for that, they always had a special place in my heart.  Take flowers to their graves and love them the way they could never love you, or each other. 

Say hello to the children for me when you seem them.  And don’t forget to water the plants!

All my love and all my heart,
Linda

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