THE SPECTRE OF ROSE

THE SPECTRE OF ROSE

Jack Howland was madly in love.  This fact might not in itself matter much except that the object of his affection, Rose Brighton, was so many things his own family wasn’t.  Rose was spontaneous, cheerful, slightly daffy, and full of energy.  Jack’s parents and sisters, on the other hand, were planners, on the dour side, extremely rational, and settled.

After dating for several months, Jack introduced Rose to his family.  Rose was always polite, pleasant, conversational, and very personable when she was with the Howlands. Though spontaneous and somewhat unpredictable, she always maintained a reliable filter on her words and never stuck her foot in her mouth. And yet, the Howlands maintained a coolness toward her.  Some of this was just their own reserve with others.  Some of it was because Jack was the Howland’s only son. They looked at Rose as a potential daughter-in-law and didn’t feel she quite fit in.  She didn’t.   

As for Rose’s family, the Brightons, they greeted Jack with open, welcoming arms, the way they greeted everyone.  No one was a stranger in their house.  Going to the Brightons' house as like getting a nice warm hug. (At the Howlands, one might be invited to play a rousing game of scrabble or monopoly for after dinner entertainment.)  Their only problem with Jack as that they felt he needed to loosen up a bit. He did.

Rose and Jack’s relationship reached the six-month mark.  One evening, he proposed. Not surprisingly, the Brighton's were ecstatic and the Howland's were diffident.  Jack’s mother did call on Rose’s mother to see if she might assist with wedding plans.  She would explain to Mrs. Brighton, “With the weddings of two daughters under my belt, I’m a veteran. But I don’t want to stick my nose in where it doesn’t belong.  It’s Rose and Jack’s wedding.”  Jack saw the minefield ahead, and so he and Rose eloped.

After a year of marriage, Jack and Rose were still as giddy as newlyweds. Both sets of parents began to wonder when there might be an addition to the family.  Jack and Rose wanted children, but to no avail. Rose was always cheerful and positive. She kept them from dwelling on what they apparently weren’t supposed to have. At times, however, a shade came over Rose.  This was something Jack had noticed right from the beginning of their relationship, but it was slight and happened only once in a while. As they proceeded with married life, the shade-- subtle changes in Rose’s personality-- became more frequent and stronger.  Rose would become quieter, more reflective, and a little distant. 

As they approached their five-year wedding anniversary, Jack’s mother asked him to come over.  “Jack, I don’t mean to sound cruel or meddling, but I know how much you love children and think it’s so sad that you and Rose don’t seem, how shall I say it, compatible in that area.”

“What are you saying mother?  Rose and I both want children, and it’s been hard on both of us not being able to have any.  The bottom line is, however, that I love Rose.  She’s all I really need.”

“I know you love her son.  She’s a nice girl. (Mrs. Howland always referred to Rose as a girl, as though she were an eternal adolescent.)  But, and this will sound harsh I know, there’s more to marriage than love. You’re our only son and the only one to carry on the Howland name.  Your two sisters took their husband’s names, and so their children are not Howlands.  I know this seems very shallow and not relevant to this day and time, but your father and I really wanted to see the Howland line continue.”

“Mother, you talk about this as if we were horses or something. You’re not thinking that I should divorce Rose and find another mate, are you?”

“Think about it, son.  And again, we like Rose and don’t want to see her hurt.  At the same time, she’s the type that bounces back.”

“I appreciate your advice, mother, but Rose and I are together for the long haul.”  Jack’s irritation with his mother was hard for him to hide.

The Brightons threw a fantastic party to celebrate the five-year anniversary of Rose and Jack. The Howlands' sent their regrets.  The day after the party, Jack and Rose laughed endlessly as they looked back on the party. Then, Rose got a bit serious.  Jack wondered if the shade was coming down. This was happening more often. It even happened at the party, but it didn’t stop them from having a good time.  “Jack, are you sorry we don’t have children?  You are, aren’t you.”

“I love children, Rose.  You know that. Children would have been nice, but I’m much happier knowing I have you.”

“I was just thinking, Jack. I love you, and I love our life together. And yet, if you really have your heart set on children, I don’t want to stand in your way.  You’re handsome, successful, and quite a catch.  You’d have no problem finding a woman to have a family with.”

“My mother’s been talking to you, hasn’t she. The words are coming out of your mouth, but they’re her words.”  Jack could feel his face flush and his pulse quicken.

“She wrote me about a month ago.  It was a beautifully phrased letter.”

“It would be.”

“I just don’t want you to stay in this relationship if there might be regrets later on, about not having children.”

“I can’t believe that my mother would do such a thing.”

“Jack, she means well.  Don’t judge her too harshly.”

“I know one thing, Rose. I love you so much. My love and affection for you grows every day. There's is no way I would ever dream of being without you.  When I go to work, I can’t wait to get home.  And I love my work.”

That night, as Rose and Jack lay in bed, Jack looked over at Rose and saw her beautiful face highlighted by the light of the moon that streamed through the window. She looked so peaceful, content, and blissful.  She also looked distant.  He had noticed that the shade, or spectre as he called it, had covered her all day and still seemed to keep her from him. It was almost as if this spectre was envious of Jack, and wanted Rose to itself.  It had been willing to share, but seemed less and less willing to do so.  Perhaps, Jack thought to himself, it was this spectre that somehow kept them childless.

Jack wanted the spectre to go.  He also knew he couldn’t think his way through this. The idea of a spectre overtaking his wife would have completely astonished his family. No reasonable person could possibly think that way.  He needed to be guided by intuition, and not by reason. 

The next morning, Jack said to Rose, “Babe, it’s such a beautiful day.  Why don’t we go to the beach the way we used to?  We can walk on the beach, jump in the surf, and just have a great time.”

Rose, who had seemed to be back to her cheerful self, suddenly became a little sullen.  “Jack, it is warm outside, but it’s only mid-March.  The water is going to be frigid, I’m sure.”

“Don’t you remember, babe, when we were first dating?  We’d go to the beach in March and didn’t care how cold the water was. We’d keep each other warm.”  Jack laughed and hugged Rose.

“I’d rather wait until May. The water will be much warmer then.”

“And the beach will be filled with people.  Now, we will likely have the entire beach to ourselves.”

“I just don’t feel like it, Jack.”  The shade was dropping.

“Are your refusing to go along with me on this?  You always go along with everything.”

“I guess this is one time I can’t.”

“This is important to me, Rose.  It’s not as much about going to the beach as it is doing something a little crazy, like we used to do.  We’ve become set in our ways.”

“Are you demanding that I go?  Can’t we do something else?”

“I’m not demanding.  Well, I guess I am.  I really want to go to the beach.”

“You’ve never made any demands on me, Jack. What’s going on?”

“I really don’t mean to sound like the despotic husband. Gosh, this is hard to say.  If you don’t go with me, our marriage is over.”

“What was that!?”

 “We’re at a crucial point here, Rose.  I can’t explain it.  I don’t understand it.  Please, go to the beach with me.  I’ll never ask you to do anything against your wishes again.  I promise.”

Rose was visibly shaking by this point. “Okay, we can go to the beach.”

They donned their swimsuits and robes, grabbed some towels, and drove to the beach.  Rose kept her arms folded tightly in front of her and pulled her shoulders forward.  The day was warm and beautiful.  Jack and Rose had the beach to themselves.  After they placed their robes and towels on the sand, Jack began to walk toward the ocean.  He hoped Rose would follow. He didn’t look back, feeling almost like Orpheus leading his beloved Eurydice up from Hades. Just as Orpheus was instructed not to look back on Eurydice, Jack’s intuition instructed him not to look back on Rose. He was simply to trust that she would follow him.  He entered the surf and got to about knee level when he heard the sound of someone falling. He closed his eyes, turned around, and ran back toward Rose. He stumbled over her. She had evidently fainted.  Jack took her into his arms and carried her into the surf.  The waves crashed around them and they were soon submerged.

The water revived Rose.  “You scamp!  You wicked, wicked scamp!” Rose laughed and playfully pushed Jack’s head under water.  They tussled and picked at each other before returning to their robes and towels to dry off.

That November, at Thanksgiving, Rose and Jack greeted the arrival of their first child, a girl they named Hope Brighton-Howland.  A little more than a year and a half later, they greeted a son, Julian.