PORTRAIT OF DIANE GRAY?

PORTRAIT OF DIANE GRAY?

“Miss Gray,  I don’t understand why you want cosmetic surgery so that you can look like the photo you've shown me.  You’re a beautiful woman with no obvious blemishes.  In fact, I would say you are more attractive than the woman in this photo.”

“That depends, Dr. Wilson, on how you define beauty.  My mother died while giving me birth and I want to have aspects of her appearance.  Right now, I look nothing like her.”

“I could understand your wanting to have one or two of her features, Miss Gray, but what you are asking for is too much.  I won’t do it.”

“Money is no object, Dr. Wilson.”

“It’s not a matter of money.  It’s a matter of professional ethics.  And even if I were to perform the surgeries needed to transform you, there is no guarantee that you would end up looking exactly like this portrait.  Cosmetic surgery has its limits.”

“Dr. Wilson, I have done research on you.  I know what you have been able to do with others.  I even know someone who was in an automobile accident and was severely disfigured.  You were able to make her look exactly as she did before the accident.  And there are other examples as well.  I know the risks, and I know the possibilities.  I also know your skill and experience.”

“But Miss Gray, there are aspects of anatomy – bone structure – face shape. There are lots of things to consider.  You do bear some resemblance to the person in the photo in a general way but there would still need to be some reconstruction.”

“That’s fine.  Whatever it takes.  I really need to have this done.  I’m pleading with you.  Please do this.”

“I need an endorsement as to your mental health.”

“Here it is.  I knew you’d want to look over it.  I’m of sound mind.”

“There’s another thing.  This entire process needs to be done over time.  It will take at least a year.”

“I anticipated that.  I’m fine.  I do need to have the process begin as soon as possible.”

“I'll need to consult with my colleagues.  And there are many waivers you need to look over carefully, and I do mean carefully, and sign.”

“I’m happy to do so.”

And so, the date was set for Diana Gray to begin her transformation.  She contacted her father and told him she was taking a year-long assignment from work that would take her abroad.  She had contacted a close friend to stay with for a year while she had the surgery.

“Diana, I’m happy for you to stay with me, but are you sure you want to go through with this?  It doesn’t seem right.”

“It’s very right, Sarah.  I’ve been planning this for a long time.  I’ve saved my money and made lots of sacrifices to do this.”

“But why, Diana?  Can’t you tell me why?”

“I’ll tell you exactly why.  I’ve told you that my mother died while giving birth to me.  My dad never got over it.  He was completely beside himself.  He still is.  He blamed me for the death of this wife.  He’s always had a temper and let it out on me.  He remarried two times, and both marriages failed.  He also blamed those failures on me.”

“So, what does all of that have to do with your surgery?”

“My dad got rid of every picture he had of my mother.  Her parents were killed in an automobile accident and she had no siblings or close relatives.  I never saw a single picture of her.  Then, one day, I was in the attic looking for something and I stumbled across a portrait.  It was a portrait of my mother in her wedding dress.  I took a photo of it.  That was when I began thinking of what I might do.”

“So, are you doing this to get back at your father or are you trying to reclaim his affection?  I don’t understand.”

“It’s not about my father at all.  I want my mother, that’s all.  If I look like her, I’ll have her with me all the time.”

“That’s very strange.”

“It might seem that way to you, but it’s what I want to do.”

“And your doctor goes along with this?”

“He resisted, of course.  He gave me every reason he could, not to go along with this.”

“But he gave in.”

“I was persistent.”

Diana Gray spent a year undergoing five procedures.  She was very healthy and the procedures went  well. Even she was amazed at the transformation.  Her mother was thirty when she married her father.  Her name was Diane.  Diana began the procedures when she was twenty-eight.  She wanted to give herself a year and a half to recover completely.

Her friend Sarah was surprised by the changes.  She still couldn’t understand why Diana was putting herself through this, especially since she looked less and less attractive with each procedure.

Diana returned to work and surprised everyone with her new look.  Gone was the very attractive and personable Diana they knew.  Many of her colleagues kept their distance. There was something unsettling about Diana. Then, there was a call from on high that a number of employees would have to be let go.  Diana was one of them.  She had completely depleted her resources on her surgeries and on taking her unpaid leave for eighteen months. 

She left the company certain that she would land another job quickly.  It didn’t happen.  Her friend Sarah and others took her in for a while, but she knew those situations were only temporary.  Broke and desperate, she decided to go to her father.  Maybe her new look would kindle something in him.

One morning, she knocked on the door of her father’s house.  When he opened the door, he turned ashen as he saw his daughter standing before him.  He gasped in horror and slammed the door in her face.  She stood there for a while, tears running down her face.  As she turned away, the door opened once again.  Her father stared at her and invited her to come in.

“I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.  Who are you?”

“Dad, I’m your daughter, Diana.”

“That can’t be.  I haven’t seen my daughter in a while, but you look nothing like her.  You look like someone else. Someone from my past.”

“I look like my mother, don’t I.”

“No, you don’t.  What have you done to yourself?”

“I found a portrait in the attic of a woman in a wedding dress.  I had never seen any pictures of my mother and just assumed it was mother.  Why would it be in the attic?”

“That portrait was not of your mother.  It was of my sister.  Your mother looked exactly like you, or at least how you used to look.  My sister was never very pretty. She was also very troubled and found a way of attracting the wrong type of people. Her marriage was more or less a sham, and she and her husband died from taking drugs shortly after their wedding.  They were both drug users and drug dealers.  They were destined to wind up in prison.  Everyone in the family tried to put them out their minds and hearts, like some bad dream.  For some reason, I kept her wedding portrait. She was still my sister, after all.  I never looked at it.”

Diana started crying.  “What a total fool I’ve been.  I’ll never bother you again.  I’m so sorry.”

“Listen, Diana, what you did was not very smart.  It was quite stupid, in fact.  But, on the other hand, you really made something of yourself all on your own.  I’ve been very proud of you.  I shut you out of my life and was not a good father to you.  I’ll be the first to admit that.  I’ve been paying for it for years.  Now, I’m just a lonely old man.”

“Dad, I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.  I think I’d better go.”

“Not on your life.  This is your home, ...  if you want it to be.”

Diana and her father spent the day talking and really becoming acquainted for the first time. Her father eventually admitted that her new look was actually a good thing.  It was as if his sister was getting a new chance at life.  He had actually kept lots of pictures of his first wife, Diana’s mother, locked away. After a few weeks, he felt good enough about their relationship to bring them out.  He also told her many things about her mother he’d never expressed. 

Diana was able to find a job and restart her life.  She enjoyed looking at the pictures of her mother, which were now on display throughout the house. They were not posed pictures, but rather candid, everyday snapshots that captured many dimensions of her personality.  Diana discovered from them the many ways she resembled her mother, on the inside if not on the outside.