A CHANGE OF HEART

A CHANGE OF HEART

     If, for some reason, you actually wanted to locate an arrogant, self-aggrandizing and despotic person, you would be hard-pressed to find someone with more of those qualities than Mathias Pace.  Although Pace came from a well-to-do family, it wasn’t well-to-do enough for him. His father, Findlay Pace, though patrician and every inch a gentleman, was also affable and easy going. He accomplished a great deal in his life, but not enough to suit his only son, Mathias. The younger Pace began his own company at the age of twenty-two, and by age twenty-eight was a millionaire many times over. 

     During his journey to financial and business success, he was accompanied by his socialite wife, Elizabeth. Over the years the couple had five children, who at the time of this story are 8, 10, 12, 14, and 16.  By their ages (and also their names, such as Mary and Luke) you’d think that Mathias Pace was a Roman Catholic, but Pace had no interest in religion. The only one of the Ten Commandments he held in high respect was the first.  In the case of this commandment, the “me” in “Though shalt have no other gods before me” was Pace himself.  He was the god of his own universe. 

     By age 42, Pace was bored with his work as CEO of the company he founded. He therefore sold it for a very handsome profit and began collecting board chairmanships, all business and finance related. It is at this point in Mathias Pace’s life that our story begins.

     Even a god of his own universe occasionally needs a mentor or someone to talk to about situations in life. For Mathias Pace, finding a mentor was difficult as, in his own mind at least, he had no superiors and few peers worthy of the name. His mentor was then chosen from a distinctly lower level of accomplishment. This person’s name was Otto Sprank.  

     Sprank was a shoe repairman.  He maintained a successful small business for many years, not because he was a skilled shoe repairman, which he was, but because when a customer brought in shoes for a particular repair, Otto Sprank not only completed the requested repair, but fixed anything else that was wrong with the shoes, often hidden problems.  Customers always found that the shoes they had brought in both looked and felt better than they did when they were new.

     One day, Mathias Pace came to Otto Sprank’s shop, ostensibly to have some shoes repaired. With five children, he came in quite often. Of course, his real reason for coming in was to talk things over with Sprank. “Sprank,”  he said in his very commanding style, “do you have any children?”

     “Mr. Pace, you can see from my face that I’m not exactly what they nowadays call a ‘chick magnet.’ I’ve never been a ladies man.  I do have lots of nieces and nephews. I attribute the fact that they all seem to love me and enjoy seeing me to the fact that I got to know them before the world taught them who to be attracted to and who not to be attracted to.  I know quite well you have five.”

     “Yes, I do." Pace puffed out his chest a bit. "Well, Sprank, my oldest daughter Mary just turned sixteen. About a month before her sixteenth birthday she asked me if she could have a sweet sixteen birthday party.  I had no idea what she was talking about. Of course, her mother and I have always given our children presents on their birthdays and have let them pick out a cake for dessert on the day of the birthday. The idea of birthday parties has never set right with me. So, I said no. She said she understood. However, ever since her birthday, she’s been rather sullen and distant. She’s never been that way. She’s always been cheerful, obedient, kind – a veritable girl scout. She’s been such a good role model for her younger siblings. They take their cues from her. She’s still obedient and kind, but not so cheerful. She’s not the kind to pout or act up; she knows that’s simply not done in the Pace home.”

     “Does she have a boyfriend, Mr. Pace?  Is she sweet on someone?”

     “Sprank, she’s only sixteen. She hasn’t made her debut yet!  No, she sticks to her studies and to her hobbies. She enjoys painting. There’ll be no boyfriends for a while.”

     “Mr. Pace, with all due respect, sometimes boys and girls in their teen years do get sweet on each other. Sometimes, they just like doing things together, like bowling or horseback riding – things like that. I would wager that she wanted to have that party, not for herself, but to have a boy she is sweet on come to her house, but not be pressured by coming alone or perhaps even knowing she likes him.”

     “Sprank, that’s absurd!  Mary is not some starry-eyed, love-sick little girl.”

     “I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Pace. Starry-eyed, love-sick little girls are one of the delights of creation. It’s a special part of a girl’s life.”

     “Well, not Mary’s, I assure you.”

     “Mr. Pace, you might just want to have that party and see if she seems to look at anyone in particular over the course of the evening. This is just a little shoe repairman with no experience rearing children, so you just do what you think is best. Perhaps, Mary is just going through a  ‘sullen’ phase. That’s a possibility.”

     Mathias pace walked out of Otto Sprank’s shop incensed that his daughter could possibly be a starry-eyed, love-sick girl. He then went home and asked her if she would like a party.  She was thrilled with the idea. 

     At the party, which was attended by about fourteen of Mary’s friends and classmates, Pace kept his distance. He stayed in his study for the most part. After a little bit, however, his wife came to the study and told her husband that Mary wanted to dance with him.

     “Dance with me?  Nonsense!  A silly party is one thing, but I’ll only dance with Mary at her wedding.”

     Nonetheless, Mathias Pace went outside to the large terrace where the party was taking place. “My gosh, it’s impossible to tell who is dancing with whom. They’re like a flock of geese flapping their wings and hopping around!”

     “Daddy, thanks so much for coming down to dance with me,” Mary said.  On cue, the music changed to a slow waltz, and Mathias Pace found himself in the spotlight with his daughter. For once, Mathias Pace found himself thinking purely of someone beside himself.  It was a special moment that neither would forget.

     The weeks following the party saw Mary return to her cheerful self. Mathias Pace even gave her permission to take a driver’s education class at school. He let her practice driving with him in the passenger seat. Mathias Pace was not used to being a passenger, except of course when he was being chauffeured someplace.

    Mathias Pace eventually found himself back at Otto Sprank’s shop with some shoes that “needed” to be repaired.

     “Sprank, your suggestion of the party for my daughter was right on the money. Mary’s back like she used to be.”

     “I hope she’s even better than she used to be!” Otto Sprank replied.

     As they talked, an apparently homeless man walked into the shop. Otto Sprank smiled as he saw the man enter, and he came from behind the counter to give the man a hearty handshake.

     “Mr. Pace, I’d like you to meet my friend Carl.” Carl offered Mathias Pace his hand, but Pace backed away and refused to shake the man’s hand. Otto Sprank said nothing about this at the time.

     “Carl,” Otto Sprank exclaimed, “you’re a sight for sore eyes!”

     “Thanks, Otto,” Carl  replied, “you’re looking pretty dapper yourself!” They both laughed. Neither man would ever be called "dapper."

     “Carl, I was thinking about you the other day. I found this pair of shoes back in my store room. They had your name written all over them. Let me go get them to see if you like them.” Otto Sprank then went to the back to retrieve the shoes.

     Carl attempted to initiate a conversation with Mathias Pace. “Mr. Pace, I think you’re a really successful business man from what I hear.”

     “I’ve done okay,” was Mathias Pace’s curt reply. He obviously had no attention of chatting with this street person. In fact, he was getting ready to leave when Otto Sprank came back out  with a pair of high-top shoes.

     “Oh, Mr. Pace, don’t go. I want you to see how spiffy Carl looks in these shoes.” He presented the shoes to Carl, who sat down, removed his ratty old shoes, and replaced them with the new ones.  The new ones were hardly stylish, but they did look great on Carl.

    “Well, Mr. Pace, what do you think?”

     “I think they look just fine. I’m afraid you two gentlemen will have to excuse me.  I’m needed at home.”

     “Don’t leave just yet, Mr. Pace.”

     “I’ve got to go, Otto,” Carl announced. “You know, places to go and people to see!  These shoes are dandies!”

     “And thank you for these shoes, Carl.  I can’t wait to start whipping them back into shape.” With that, Otto Sprank gave Carl a big hug and shook his hand. “Don’t be a stranger. You’ve always got a friend here, Carl. And thank you for serving our country!”

     “Goodbye Otto. Good evening, Mr. Pace It was nice meeting you.” Mathias Pace said nothing.

     Carl left the shop. Mathias Pace for once in his life had an awkward look on his face.Then Otto Sprank gave him a tongue lashing he would never forget. 

     “Mr. Pace, I know you’re a big shot and all that. But how in hell can you call yourself a man?  What you just did was unconscionable.  I don’t care if you never set foot in my shop again!”

     To add to the awkwardness, Mathias Pace now looked astonished. No one had ever spoken to him in that way. “Listen Sprank, I know in your little world what I might have done, or not done, might have seemed rude. You realize I could buy out your little business in a heartbeat!”

     “Of course, you could, Mr. Pace! You could buy out my little business, but you can’t buy out my heart and my soul. They’re not for sale at any price.  Do you know who that man was that you just thumbed your nose at.”

     “He’s one of hundreds I see every day littering the streets. He’s one of the lazy, drug and alcohol addicted losers who keep looking for the bottom but never seem to find it.”

     It was all Otto Sprank could do to keep from taking his little hands from grabbing Mathias pace and throwing him out the door. 

     “That ‘loser,’ Mr. Sprank, was one of my best friends in high school. His mother died when he was only four years old. His father was a tyrant and a bully. For his safety, Carl was placed in the hands of social services. He was then shuffled through a series of foster homes, some decent and some indecent. When we were in high school, both he and I would get kidded because of the odd look of our faces. Kids called us the ‘bumbly twins.’  I used to get so mad, but Carl just laughed it off. After high school, he joined the army and went to Vietnam. He served with distinction and was even awarded several medals for distinguished service in combat, including a Purple Heart. That ‘loser’ returned home to a country that turned its back on him and countless others.  He suffered from what is now called PTSD. You know what that is, Mr. Pace.  It’s ‘Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.’ Carl saw things in Vietnam that you wouldn’t want to experience in your worst nightmares. That ‘loser’ became addicted to pain killers that were prescribed to him by physicians. He could no longer just laugh things off. He spiraled down. When I first saw him after he came back to town, I barely recognized him. He was a shell of himself.”

     “Sprank, I apologize.  I had no idea.”

     “And you have no idea about most of those people you call lazy, drug and alcohol addicted losers. They’re human beings, Mr. Pace.  Human beings!  Damn you!"

     “Those shoes looked nice on him, Sprank.”

     “His name is Carl. Good evening, Mr. Pace.”

     Mathias Pace began walking the streets looking for Carl.  He began to see the homeless in a different way. He became ashamed of himself.  He could never find Carl.

     One evening, at dinner, Mathias Pace’s son Luke began holding his stomach and complaining of pain.Normally, Mathias Pace would send the boy upstairs to his room. This time, however, he asked his son to come over to him and he felt the boy’s stomach and asked him where it seemed to hurt. When he touched a certain point, his son winced in pain. 

    Mathias Pace had taught his children not to be whiners, and to just “suck it up” when they felt an ache or pain.  He knew his son would not complain if it weren’t serious. He then called the family doctor who told Mathias Pace to take his son directly to the hospital. They arrived at the hospital and were greeted by the doctor. Luke was examined and sent directly to surgery. Mathias Pace was waiting for his son when he was brought into his hospital room. When his son Luke awoke, the first person he saw was his father. 

     “Luke, you’re going to be just fine.You had appendicitis. You know, I’ve never known anyone who had appendicitis and had to have their appendix removed. How are you feeling?”

     “Groggy.”

“Sure.  You’re still under the anaesthetic. While I was waiting during your surgery, I went to the hospital gift shop and found this book. I know you like science and thought you might like this book on ecology.”

     “Wow, Dad,” Luke exclaimed as he looked at the book. “We’ve been studying ecology in class this term. This is great! Thanks so much!”

     Mathias Pace brought his son home to a party of family and some of his close friends.  Parties were becoming more a part of the Pace routine.

     It had been some time since Mathias Pace darkened the doors of Otto Sprank’s shop. He walked by often and looked in, but never stopped.  Sprank sometimes looked up, but never so much as waved. He certainly didn’t smile the way he used to. One day, Mathias Pace decided he needed to mend some fences. 

     “Well, Mr. Pace. Long time no see. What can I do for you?  I don’t think I’ve any shoes that belong to you or your family at this time.”

     “Otto, I came in to apologize for the horrible way I treated your friend several months ago. I still feel just awful.”

     “Well, you should, Mr. Pace. He was not only my friend, but he gave the best part of himself for you and for me.  That was what I found offensive.”

     “I know, Otto – and please call me Mathias—I hope you can accept my apology.”

     “It’s Carl you need to apologize to.”

     “I’ve tried to locate him, but to no avail.”

     “And you won’t. He’s dead.”

     “Oh no!”

     “Oh yes. He died two weeks ago.There was the briefest announcement in the paper – for a veteran and a hero who served his country with great distinction. He was buried in a pauper’s grave.”

     “That’s horrible. He needs to be treated better than that.  Is there anything I can do?”

     “What’s done is done, Mathias. How’s your family, Mathias?”

     “They’re just fine.My son Luke had a bout with appendicitis, but he’s now back to normal.”

     “And how’s your youngest child?”

     “You mean,um, John?”

“You had to think for a second of his name, didn’t you Mathias.  The last-born child, especially in a large family, can think of himself or herself as a sort of an afterthought. They can think of themselves as the weakest and the slowest. They’re always too young to do the things their older siblings can do and they feel like it will always be that way.”

     “John seems just fine, Otto, but thank you for asking about him.” Mathias Pace immediately went home and went to his son John’s room.”

     “How are things going for you, John?”

     “Fine.  Just fine.”

     “I was thinking, John. How would you like to go to a baseball game this Saturday?” Mathias pace knew that his son loved baseball, but that he was not a very good player because of his weak eyes.

     That Saturday, father and son went to the baseball game. It was a local, minor league game, but it meant the world to John. After the game, Mathias Pace had made arrangements for John to get a soda and sandwich with one of the players.“You know, John ,” the player said, “ I understand from your dad that you think that your weak eyes will keep you from ever being very good at baseball. “

     “I guess so,” John replied.

     “I’ve always had weak eyes. I was always the last one chosen to play.  But I loved baseball. I worked hard at it. I’m not in the majors yet, but I plan to be. And even if I don’t make it, I still get to play the game I love. Do you love to play?”

     “Oh yes!”

“Then keep at it. Practice on your own. Don’t wait for the regular practice to get out there. I’ll bet your father will find the time to throw some balls to you.  Right, Mr. Pace?”

     “You bet.”

     That very afternoon, Mathias and his son John went to the back yard and threw the ball at each other. Luke soon came out and joined in. John didn’t make the Little League cut that year, but he kept practicing and going to games, often with Mathias Pace by his side.

     Mathias Pace called his family together.“I think this is the first time I’ve ever called a family meeting like this.The reason for this meeting is that, about two months ago, a truly great individual died. He was not given the respect he deserved, and I want to do something about that.”

     “What does that have to do with all of us, dad?” Mary asked.

     “I want to throw a sort of party, really more like a reception, in his honor.I’d like you all to help out, but only if you want to.” The family was in a bit of shock that they were being given permission to bow out.

     “And oh, there’s one other thing. This man, though as I said was a great individual, was also homeless. He had lots of problems that were not of his own making. Nearly all of his friends are also homeless. This means that the reception will be for them.

     “Ooh, dad,” ten-year-old Ruth moaned, “homeless people are so smelly and just creepy.”

     “Yeah, dad,” fourteen-year-old Timothy observed, “We’ve always been told to stay away from these people. Now we’re being asked to help host a reception for them. I don’t understand.”

     “It’s hard to explain, Timothy, but it’s something I need to do. If you don’t want to help out, you don’t have to. Think about it. The reception if scheduled for next Sunday afternoon.”

     That Sunday, Mathias Pace came downstairs to leave for the church reception hall. His wife and four of his children were waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. “Mary went on ahead, Dad,” Luke said. “She wanted to drive.”

     When they got to the church hall, they found over a hundred people lined up outside. Although they were obviously gritty looking, to say the least, they did all seemed to have made the effort to look their best.What Mathias Pace noticed immediately was that they all had on nicely polished shoes.

     The family went inside, where they joined Mary Pace. They were introduced to the church minister. Soon, Otto Sprank joined the group.

     “Otto, I couldn’t help but notice the shoes of everyone outside. How in the world did you manage to get all those shoes ready for those people?”

     “First of all, Mathias, this is a wonderful thing you’re doing to honor Carl. You’ll see he had some wonderful friends.”

     “I’m really looking forward to it.”

     The reception began, and the Pace family all pitched in to make everyone feel welcome and wanted. It was as though all Carl’s friends were being honored along with Carl. Several of them spoke about him. One had been a school teacher, one a dentist, one a banker. There were several veterans. A couple of them wore medals and ribbons. Mathias Pace invited his wife and children to mingle and meet the guests, but only if they wanted to.

     During the weeks following the reception, Mathias Pace astonished everybody by abruptly resigning from all the boards he chaired. He then went to one of the soup kitchens and asked to speak to the director.

     “Mr. Pace,” the kitchen supervisor said, “it’s an honor to have you here. How can I help you?”

      "It’s my honor to be here. I want to help out, if I can.”

     “Well, Mr. Pace, our board is completely filled at this time and the head of the board is so beloved by all, the idea of having someone new come in would be quite stunning.”

     “Oh, I don’t want to be on the board, and certainly not chair it. I want to make soup.”

     “Make soup?  Well, how are you at peeling onions?”

     “I’ve been told that I never cry at anything. An onion certainly won’t get the best of Mathias Pace.”

     Soon after, the entire Pace family, each of his or her own accord, was helping prepare and serve meals to the homeless at the kitchen.  It would become a cherished even for each one.

     “Otto?”

     “Yes, Mathias.”

     Mathias Pace had once again gone to Otto Sprank’s shop. He had long ago abandoned the need the bring shoes with him.

     “Otto, I was wondering if you need an apprentice?”

     “Are you telling me, Matthias, that I’m getting too old for this and you think I should be training a successor?”

     “Not at all.”

     “So, you’re thinking about having one of your brood come in to see how working people make a living?”

     “I want to apprentice with you.”

     Stunned, Otto Sprank then began to laugh profusely.

     “Obviously, Otto, you must not think I’ve got what it takes to be a shoe repairman. I think I can do a decent job. I might never be as good as you, but I think I can handle the work.”

     “Oh, Matthias, I have no doubt you can handle the work. Sure, we’ll give it a try.  Now you know, Matthias, that I do more than repair shoes. When someone comes in with shoes in their hands, I look at them first, and the shoes second. They’re much more important than the shoes. Take, Mrs. Bradley. She is, shall we say, not petite. And yet, she loves to wear these wisp-like shoes that can’t possibly support her. I manage to get those shoes to the point where she feels as though she were walking on air. She could walk three miles in those shoes with nary a sore or swollen foot to her name. She feels like the angel that she is on the inside. When a customer comes in, I always make an outline of their bare feet. I study their feet. I’m certainly no podiatrist, but I know feet, and I know people. What they say they need done to their shoes is usually the least of the problems.”

     “That’s why I want to apprentice with you, Otto. You don’t just repair shoes, you repair people.”

     “Not in the least, Matthias. I don’t repair people at all. I just do a little to help them feel like they want to feel on the inside. That’s why I’m in the business.”

     “Okay, Otto, why did you laugh so hard when I said I wanted to apprentice with you. You say I can do the work. I guess you must think I’m not temperamentally suited for this line of work, especially for what you really do.”

     “Once again, Matthias, no. The reason I laughed is that a long, long time ago, when I was just getting started, your father – a wonderful man by the way --  asked me if you might apprentice with me. He said he would pay the salary, if I would just give you the experience. I thought about it and said yes. I was very young then, you know. Do you remember what you said to your father when he spoke with you about his plans for you?”

     “I can’t say as I do. I doubt I was very enthusiastic.”

     “That’s an understatement.Your father came back to me and told me that you had declined the opportunity. He told me that you said  you needed to be involved in better and higher things than shoe repair.”

     “Sounds like me!”

     Matthias Pace began his apprenticeship with Otto Sprank by outlining the feet of each customer as they came in. In doing this, he needed to get down on his hands and knees to trace each foot on a piece of paper as the person stood on the floor.  For Otto Sprank, this task was easy as he was short and spry, and also humble. For Matthias Pace, this task was painful. He was tall and somewhat heavyset. He also had to lower himself figuratively much farther than Otto Sprank did. Another of Matthias Pace’s first tasks was to repair (yes, repair!) shoe laces. He then moved on to reconditioning and polishing the shoes.

     One day, as Mathias Pace was down on his hands and knees tracing a customer’s feet, one of his old business associates came in. “Matthias Pace, is that you?” he asked. “Please, don’t get up.”  He then laughed. “Well, I guess you finally found a job that is on your level!  Learning how the working man lives, huh, Pace?”

     “It’s not on my level yet, but I’m getting there. I just decided that I needed to be involved in better and higher things.”